She messaged me... I dunno how to interpret the message. In the past, I would probably its was concern as a gf but now, I would think she is juz trying to sympathize me or juz as a fren asking if i am ok. I really dunno how to reply this message. I thought about it for sometime... I had managed to cool down a bit today. I decided to give her time to think about it since she asked a month. I decided not to reply this message not becoz i dont want but its becoz i cant and i dunno how to reply.
Evening, I went for a discussion with some frens from Tangshooters. I temporarily regained my own self but back home the loneliness encompassed me again. i tried engaging myself in things but things doesnt seem to flow right. To me, deep inside I am trying not to reply the message, I am trying to give myself the chance to pick up again and be strong to face what is to happen the next and every day. Its tough... but i know i have to do it.
She may be waiting for my reply but based on my understanding of her in the past, she would not bother. But can i apply what is in the past to now. I really cant determine and i dun dare to think so much. I went to sleep... I juz hope as each day pass, i will pick myself up to live my life again.
If she calls me and want a get together again, its a blessing but things would have changed. I would never take things for granted. I will have to learn how to love all over again. Does it mean I have be always the active one doing all things? I dunno... All i can say now i am taking one small step at a time.
If she never calls again, I have to brace myself up. Its always easy to say but tough to carry out in action. Slowly but gradually I will eventually pick up again.
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